BLONDE JOKES

Blonde Medical Terminology

Artery -- study of paintings
Bacteria -- back door of cafeteria
Barium -- what doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarian section -- district in Rome
Cat scan -- searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- sheep dog
Coma -- a punctuation mark
Congenital -- friendly
D&C -- where Washington is
Diarrhea -- journal of daily events
Dilate -- to live long
Enema -- not a friend
Fester -- quicker
Fibula -- a small lie
Genital -- non-Jewish
G.I. Series -- soldiers' ball game
Grippe -- suitcase
Hangnail -- coathook
Impotent -- distinguished, well known
Intense pain -- torture in a teepee
Labor pain -- got hurt at work
Medical staff -- doctor's cane
Morbid -- higher offer
Nitrate -- cheaper than day rate
Node -- was aware of
Outpatient -- person who had fainted
Pap smear -- fatherhood test
Pelvis -- cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- letter carrier
Protein -- favoring young people
Recovery room -- place to do upholstery
Rheumatic -- amorous
Scar -- rolled tobacco leaf Secretion -- hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- study of knighthood
Tablet -- small tablet
Terminal illness -- sickness at airport
Tibia -- country in North Africa
Tumor -- an extra pair
Urine -- opposite of you're out
Varicose -- located nearby
Vein -- conceited

Q: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building who would hit the ground first?
A: The brunette, the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.

Q: What do you call 5 blondes at the bottom of a swimming pool?
A: An air pocket.

Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Lonely.

Q: What do you call 4 blondes in a row?
A: A wind tunnel.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
A: By the white out on the screen.

Q: What do you call a redhead between 2 blondes?
A: An interpreter.

Q: What is the similarity between a smart blond, Santa and the tooth fairy?
A: They are all make believe.

Q: Why did the blonde climb on the roof?
A: She heard that drinks were on the house.

Q: What does a blonde say when you asked her what the last two words of the national anthem are?
A: Play ball.

Q: What do you call a blond with a half brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: How are blondes and parking spaces alike?
A: All the good ones are taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

Q: What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who broke her arm?
A: She was raking leaves when she fell out of the tree.

Q: Why is a blonde's brain pea sized in the morning?
A: It swelled.

Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

Q: What do blondes and cow pies have in common?
A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.

Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M and M factory?
A: She threw out all the ones with w's.

Q: What can strike a blonde without them even knowing it?
A: A thought.

Q: A dumb blonde a smart blonde and Santa Claus jump off of a bridge, who makes the bigger splash?
A: The dumb blonde because the others don't exist.

How do you confuse a blond? Put her in a curricular room and tell her to pee in the corner. How does a blonde confuse you? Tells you she did it.

Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A: Frosted Flakes.

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!

Q: Why don't blondes eat Jell-O?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.

Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.

Q: What's a blonde's favorite wine?
A: "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A: A wine cellar.

Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes.

Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.

Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for french fries.

Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
A1: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
A2: Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
A3: Two...one to make batter and one to peel the M&Ms.

Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.

Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"

Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.

Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel.

Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.

Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.

Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender: Brunette: "I'll have a B and C." Bartender:"What is a B and C?". Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke." Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T." Bartender: "What's a G and T?" Redhead: "Gin and tonic." Blonde: "I'll have a 15." Bartender: "What's a 15?" Blonde: "7 and 7"

Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.